Dear Pundits: Are Beer Commercials Next?

I've been watching the Democratic National Convention and am feeling pretty damn good about it all. Well, about most of it. I've been thinking a lot about the Hillary supporters who say they're going to sit out the election or vote for McCain, and frankly, they make me a little crazy. But what's really burning me up tonight is the pundits. My husband, God bless his fair heart, switches channels from NBC to MSNBC to Fox to CNN to PBS and back all over again so we can hear what everyone says about Michelle, Hillary and Bill and their speeches. We're both sick of every single person on every network we've watched (with the exception of that hard-ass chick on the panel on MSNBC who has to sit beside Bill Buchanan all day long)--is there a reporter left in America? Does every reporter now feel compelled to share their opinions? What happened to unbiased NEWS? I want facts and reportage. Leave the sarcastic comments to me. Leave the analysis to me. Leave the stupid, useless, time-wasting, empty-headed questions to me. I got that. You reporters, report and then get out of the way. As for the pundits (especially the men), please stop using sports metaphors. Not everyone likes sports. Not everyone understands the references and allusions. Not everyone thinks this is the 9th inning (it isn't) or the Superbowl (there's already one of those...duh). Stop it or I'll be forced to throw you a knuckle ball.

Quick--Get the Tomatoes. I Have to Propose!

So we had friends over for dinner last night, and my stomach still hurts. Not from the food which was simple summertime grill fare, but from laughing so hard and so much. I love nights like last night--talk, laughter, stories, wine, ice cream, champagne. At our prodding, Emily recounted the recent wedding proposal story which involved her affianced nearly passing out, crying, hurrying his soon-to-be father-in-law through a grocery store trip so he could be back to propose at sunset and apparently, according to Emily, a lot of strange behaviour from Jack preceding the big moment. As goofy as the whole story sounded, my heart is warmed by their engagement, and mostly because Jack bought the ring two years ago!! He kept that ring hidden somewhere in his apartment and then their shared home, a little touchstone in a sock drawer or shoebox in the closet that represented his future, or at least his future hope. Surely he must have glanced at it every now and then while he nurtured his relationship with Emily and figured out whether destiny for them was as a pair or not. Jack told us he knew he wanted to marry Emily when he met her, and unlikely as it may seem, it worked for him. I love the idea of this glowing, beautiful diamond emitting its precious gem magic throughout their house, in the little moments and the big ones, and Jack's faith and hope. And I love that Emily said yes.

Seriously? Are you serious?

So to continue on the Countrywide Sucks theme for just a moment (because I know it's a purely personal and unwinnable campaign and you don't care), I got an email from the Customer Service team asking me how my call went yesterday. Seriously? Like the rep who last spoke to us--after a four-day round on hang ups on their part, English-to-English translations on our part, ire and disgust boiling around us all--didn't have the brains to red-flag us and suggest that maybe we shouldn't get the "how are we doin'?" email quite so soon? And frankly, Countrywide, what will you do now that I've submitted my survey and told you just how terrible I think you are? Do you plan to improve soon? Fire people and replace them with other, smarter, more capable people? Or just show the CEO some trumped up pie chart at year's end showing a teeny tiny uptick in customer service improvement? I know! I got it now! Because of your horrific lending practices, so very many of your customers have already lost their homes; therefore, they aren't customers anymore and won't be filling out email surveys which means the net impact on your pie chart will show improvement. Very clever, Countrywide.