Long Tie? Bow Tie? Cravat?

I was standing at a round display table laden with expensive, conservative ties trying to choose one to go with my son's first suit. While browsing, a man and his wife walked up to table, and he said to her, "What would Bill O'Reilly wear?" I laughed out loud, thinking he had to be joking. "What would Bill O'Reilly wear?" Seriously? I felt like asking if he realized that he'd shared his musing aloud, just to make sure it was intentional--or maybe a joke. But no, one glance at the "tea party" tee stretched over his ample belly convinced me that he truly wanted the answer.

If people in this country have adopted that particular framework for decision making, we're done, I fear. I don't know what Bill would wear, but I know I could fashion a lovely silk gag out of it.